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I had lived in Miami for 2 weeks when a guy sent me a message on OKCupid who seemed really cool. So on a Friday he said he could pick me up but when I saw a giant black jeep with tinted windows in front of my building I refused to get in for a while because he could kill me in that thing without anyone noticing.
I messaged him back and told him he could only take me on a date if he promised to take me to see alligators. He swore he wouldn’t kill me (and I already left a note on my counter with his name and phone number in case I went missing and the police searched my apartment) so I got in.
It’s something I’ve experienced on a much more frequent level here in the Philippines. Even in your own home town..” It’s not that I don’t believe in doing good deeds, I do.Now, in the last few years Hollywood has done a bit to improve the area.. Well, back in the mid 90’s it was every bit as grungy as it had ever been.Homeless people everywhere, middle-aged drag queens, sketchy characters all the way around.But first I made him tell me his entire name and searched for him on the Sex Offender Registry in front of him. He took me to the Everglades to find alligators and when I saw some in the water I started throwing mini Oreos at them to lure them to me since my good looks obviously weren’t doing the trick.I got a little hungry too, so I started doing the “one for me, one for you” deal with the alligators. As they kept getting closer I was super excited, then suddenly I was super scared when I realized I’m cripple and can’t outrun these giant reptiles if they decide that the Oreos are not as satisfying as my flesh.